Grief is arguably one of the most complex and difficult parts of the human experience. There are no words, thoughts, or sentiments that can be shared or expressed to touch someone that has been impacted by grief. When I have experienced the loss of a loved one, it has rendered me nearly breathless. It is one of the very few times that I am left speechless before God in my prayers. I am someone that likes to ruminate on several different things at the same time. When it comes to such a vast and complex subject as grief, I can almost lose myself in my own head. Grief is a not-so-gentle reminder that life on earth can be fleeting, despite how precious it may be.
Something I have found comforting after losing a parent five years ago, and a friend fairly recently, is the love that I have found in my own support system. Grief can be heartbreakingly beautiful as it often brings out the most loving and compassionate side of people. In moments when I felt far from God’s love in the wake of the death of a loved one, a simple warm hug would remind me of how beautiful life and people could be. Even if my loved ones were not here with me physically, I could still feel reminders of God’s love through the people in my life that remained. I found that concept of finding God in all things, which derives from Ignatian spirituality, is especially present after loss and heartache.
My faith also experiences a sort of realignment after loss. I find myself leaning deeply on God in a way that was much different than before. I may have periods where I do not know what to say to God or even to someone that has lost a loved one before. But I have found that what is most helpful is just being there. Ultimately, the person experiencing the loss may not even know what to say themselves. In times when someone may feel numb or hopeless, a gentle, warm, and loving presence is a reminder of God’s love in the wake of indescribable pain. For me, those people that were that source of comfort made God’s love impossible to escape.
Grief is unfortunately a part of life and the human experience. It is deeply painful and challenging to escape, but it also can bring families and loved ones together. It can be a moment in which we can rely on God even more for strength and words when we do not have anything left within us. It reminds me of the poem “Footprints in the Sand,” where God carries us in times when our burdens and life in general seem to be too much for us to bear on our own. Every time I read it, I am comforted when God says, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you/ Never, ever, during your trials and testings./ When you saw only one set of footprints,/ It was then that I carried you.”
Ejuma is a 2018 graduate of Boston College and is a current master's student in the Mental Health Counseling Program in the Lynch School of Education and Human Development. As an undergrad, she majored in English and Women’s and Gender studies. Even though she has lived among Patriots fans for the past five years, she is very loyal to her home team, the Baltimore Ravens. Ejuma is passionate about mental health and wellness, women’s rights, social justice and racial issues. In her free time, she can be found catching up on her favorite shows, This is Us and Modern Family, baking or going for a run.
- The Gift of Empathy - February 26, 2020
- Growing Through Grief - January 29, 2020
- Community, Healing, and Celebration - November 27, 2019