It’ll soon be six years since I’ve been at BC. I’ve watched people come and go, including my best friends. I’ve seen buildings be renovated or torn down, replaced by new ones. I know both the BC lifestyle before and after the COVID-19 shutdown. Throughout all of this, I’m still here at BC, bearing witness to the decay of time.
Sometimes, it seems that I’ve awoken from a coma or cryogenic sleep; I find myself in the same place as years ago, but most of the faces on campus which were once familiar, are now a sea full of strangers. BC hardly feels like the place I once knew.
It feels like ages have passed by between my freshman year and now, graduate school. This is possibly because according to neuroscience, a change in context, or “event boundaries,” can influence one’s perception of time by increasing the sense of temporal distance. In other words, events which occurred prior to the COVID-19 pandemic seem temporally further from those which occurred after, than is actually the case.
Another context which expedited my sense of temporal distance and thus aging, is the fact that 8 out of 11 of my undergraduate friends have committed to their life-long vocation immediately post-graduation. Most of them are married or engaged; one is in the seminary; and I’m convinced of my single-life calling.
Yet, amidst my single life—in which I believe I’ll receive and give of God’s love most expansively—an event boundary occurred: my discernment of marriage throughout my undergraduate years and more specifically, my best guy friend’s entrance into the seminary.
Giano (pseudonym) influenced my Marian devotion unlike any other. Alongside my parents’ teachings Giano was the one who showed me that the pursuit of sanctity is my first priority. Because of him I prayed the Rosary, attended daily Mass and Latin Mass, prayed the Divine Office and the Angelus, and became more modest. Giano’s “fingerprints” mark 40-60% of my BC memories. He’s partially the reason why I declared a CSOM minor since he came from a family of successful business owners.
For the first time and perhaps the last, and if it was God’s plan, I’d have willingly entered into a relationship for the sake of sincerely discerning matrimony- since that’s the Catholic purpose of dating. Indeed, mutual care between us was evident. Yet, advised, I said nothing of my affection, waiting everyday over three years for Giano to advance our friendship. I’d often pray, “Blessed Mother, if it’s your will please let Giano and I be together. Yet, if you have another plan, help me embrace it gratefully.”
I eventually received heaven’s answer. During my junior year when Giano visited the seminary, I fell ill with a fever that weekend because I knew changes would occur if he entered. He was accepted into the seminary during our senior year. My heart felt pierced by several daggers because I was terribly saddened, especially knowing that we cared for each other.
These stories are not uncommon amidst Catholic communities. In fact, my father was a seminarian which involved breaking up with my mother at some point. Yet, from their eventual marriage and loving union came me and my younger brother.
The only way to deal with my tears was by subjugating my will to the faculty of my intellect through prayer. In particular, that meant St. Thomas Aquinas’ definition of charity: “willing the good of another.” If I truly cared about Giano, then I’d want what’s best for his sanctity. My emotions eventually aligned with my will, allowing my love for Giano to be transformed as he entered the priesthood.
Over time, I realized how our friendship showed me that being a single Catholic is how I can best receive and share God’s love, which manifests in incomprehensible ways. God’s love can mean pain, but it also fosters a deeper relationship with Him. My friendship with Giano was a beautiful one in which, for the very reason that I cared about him, I was led to greater union with Christ, our sole purpose.
My quest for the meaning of true love, the search upon which my undergraduate studies was holistically based, has found its culmination in the Lord.
The Constant amidst life’s changes, Christ, shares Himself in Christian love’s various forms. Thus, true love surpasses time and is everlastingly united in the Eucharist. I pray that St. Valentine intercedes for all friendships, especially during this month of February.
Lourdes Macaspac, graduate of the class of 2021, wrote for The Torch as a C101 writer during her first three years and as a Faith Feature Columnist during her senior year. At BC, she majored in a bunch of things, enjoyed giving her time to service, and cared greatly for her friends. Through the fleeting sweet and sometimes chaotic moments, she rediscovered the meaning of her life: sanctity.
- What Is True Love? - February 28, 2022
- Thanksgiving Reflections and the Single Life - December 25, 2021
- My Good Friend, St. Therese - November 2, 2021