As this is my last time writing for The Torch, it seems most fitting to reflect on four years at BC and everything the Catholic community in particular has afforded me. I am indeed grateful for everyone who has touched my life at BC, and for all of the experiences I’ve shared, from being a retreatant on many retreats (for any incoming freshman who might read this, make sure you go on Ignite!), to leading the St. Thomas More Society, to writing for The Torch and putting my faith down on paper, to being part of the Sons of St. Patrick and a regular attendee of Candlelight Mass. Here I first found my faith and a serious community of believers who made me a better Christian. To everyone who has been a part, thank you and God bless you.
But I have done a lot of reflection at Boston College, and rather than reliving my college glory days in a short article, I cannot help but consider them from a different perspective than one of gratitude and nostalgia. Rather, mourning will be my outlook, but not because I am sad to leave BC, rather quite the contrary. I am eager to move on from college life towards what God has in store for me next; BC has prepared me, and I am ready.
The frank truth of the matter is that I am writing this final faith feature on the heels of a break-up, and I am sad. It was not a long relationship, but I took it seriously. It reminds me of the topic of freedom, something that is central to our modern discourse. Seeing that I am taking a class about “Freedom in US History,” it is something that I have been considering a lot this semester.
As I tried to console myself in the immediate aftermath of hearing the bad news, I said to myself, “well, on the bright side, that’s one less responsibility. That gives me more freedom to do other things that I want to do.” That’s a heck of a rationalization for managing my sorrows, but it did not take me long to realize that I wasn’t buying what I was trying to sell myself, and that the “freedoms” of the single life were shallow and empty.
It’s not that what I was saying was incorrect; it is true that I now have less responsibility. I no longer have phone calls to make or “good morning” texts to send. I don’t need to plan dates or find time in my schedule to make visits. However, those burdens and responsibilities are what makes life worthwhile, and my newfound “negative freedom”—freedom as the lack of restraint on my behavior or decisions—is actually a curse. “Negative freedom” is inherently empty and meaningless; having options is only worthwhile insofar as one is able to come to closure on which decision they would like to make.
True freedom is in belonging, and in voluntarily shackling oneself to another. It ultimately consists in belonging and in being something. Positive freedom is the only true freedom, and the only freedom worth fighting for. With this in mind, I hope that as a graduating senior, I can give some unsolicited advice.
The bittersweet part of graduating BC is the staggering amount of responsibility that I will be leaving behind, and all of the relationships that will be changed as I leave. I won’t be a roommate anymore. I won’t belong to clubs as a member anymore. I won’t write for The Torch anymore (*future readers breathe a sigh of relief*). I am already mourning the fact that I will be leaving my 7th and 8th grade students behind as my student teaching ends in a few short weeks. I will leave behind many friends whom I will likely not see again for a long time, and many of whom I will lose touch with; that’s real life, as sad as that may sound. These are all losses, and a severance of belonging.
For those who remain, get involved and stay involved. Time is limited, and life is short; college life is even shorter. Build and forge the bonds of belonging with professors, friends, and organizations. In short, belong to something, and take your responsibilities to that thing very seriously. Freedom is meant to be used, and finds its fullest expression in being weighed down by duties to others, which are expressions of Divine love and are fundamentally Holy acts.
You will be tired, exhausted, weary, and burned out by the end. Good. I’m reminded of one of Fr. Tony Penna’s homilies from earlier this year about the value of our lives in service to others. I am paraphrasing, but he said, “as I think about the rest of my life, I want to give spoonfuls of myself to help lift up others. I want to give myself away. Five pounds to this person, two pounds to that person. I want to give it all away until I have none left. Then God can take me.” We are made to love and to be loved, to act in the service of others; in other words, to belong.
Vale.
Tom is a senior in the Lynch School, where he is studying Secondary Education, History, and Philosophy, with a minor in Restorative Justice. He is President of the Boston College Republicans, and President emeritus of the St. Thomas More Society. When not taking too many classes or writing for The Torch or The Free Press, Tom loves to watch sports, listen to metal music, and defend Leo Strauss against (unfair) accusations of Gnosticism.
- Freedom, Responsibility, Belonging, and Farewell - April 29, 2022
- The Conjuring Universe: Not for the Faint of Heart, Good for the Weak of Faith - April 29, 2022
- Incipient Political Catholicism - March 27, 2022