The Timeliness of God

The old saying “you never know what you have until it’s gone” is one we’ve all heard our parents or grandparents say. I think it is a wise idea to consider, and is undoubtedly true. However, there is something related, yet slightly different, I’ve learned over the past few months: “you never knew what you were missing until you found it.”

Such a realization started—like all good things—on the Internet. I was scrolling on TikTok when I found a few videos talking about your ‘sparkle.’ Your sparkle, apparently, refers to the times when you feel most authentically happy and yourself. The group of videos about said sparkle were of two different types: either people sharing when or how they lost their sparkle, or when they realized they had gotten their sparkle back. The latter group often included photos or videos of them with the people or places they credit with helping bring back their most authentic selves. The trend made me happy because I got to see how grateful these people were for their friends and loved ones for helping them grow confidently into the person they were meant to be. It also got me thinking about my own sparkle—more specifically, where it had gone.

This past year, I definitely did not have my sparkle. I was still reeling from the craziness and uncertainty of my summer whilst trying to come to terms with the fact that this would be my last semester at BC. I was overwhelmed by the confusion over what I wanted to do after graduating. Even more, I was dispassionate about my faith life and my relationship with God. BC Masses weren’t cutting it—the ceremonies felt dry and repetitive, and going to Mass became just another part of the week. Nothing, except maybe the 20 minutes I spent weekly at Adoration, made me passionate about my faith. All of this came to a head at the beginning of this semester, and needless to say, I was pretty stressed and distracted from what really mattered.

My sparkle came back after I was surrounded by people who brought me back to God in a genuine and passionate way. The realization that I got my sparkle ‘back’ was akin to a switch being flipped in my mind—everything suddenly became much clearer. I was lying in bed after a long day spent with friends, starting with Mass at St. Mary of the Assumption and ending with a movie night when I realized how happy I had been the past week or two. 

But what was different about them than my other friends? They were the ones who, when I said, “I think I’m going to Adoration today,” say, “What a great idea, thanks for the reminder, I’ll go too.” When I ask where they were going to Mass that weekend, the answer was always “Either St. Mary’s or St. John’s, we’ll pick you up at 10:30 and we’ll all go.” When I mention I’m going to pray a rosary, they say “Me too, do you have any intentions you want me to pray for when I say mine?” 

They are true friends of the good. They accept both my positive traits and negative tendencies and strive with love to help me grow. Never in my life have I been more affirmed in myself and in my faith, and never have I ever felt more genuinely joyful and centered around God, and I know my family back home noticed the change during Easter break. I know it is not by coincidence that I also feel the most settled, confident, happy, and loved out of all my semesters at BC. I already thought I was doing all I needed in my faith life—I did not think that that part of my life needed changing. How wrong I was, and how grateful am I that He made sure to steer me in the right direction. The timing is, of course, not coincidental either. This year has been the most tumultuous and stressful of all, and I’ve never been more vulnerable. Because of that, I have sought out God more than before and have asked Him for help. His timing is perfect—ask, and He truly shall provide what you need. 

To my friends, you know who you are, I would just like to say thank you. You are a gift from God, and have helped brighten my last semester at BC. Peace and love to you all.